Restoration Principle #1- Utter and complete brokenness lays the foundation for a thriving marriage.

2 – Top 10 Questions Husbands Should Never Answer :: Check out this video by Jeff Foxworthy that was posted on the Skit Guys‘ website…

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO!

3 – How To Deal With Betrayal :: Read this post from Perry Noble about the right way to deal with betrayal…

Betrayal is one of the most brutal things a person (especially a pastor) deals with.

It hurts…deeply.

Someone who was close to you and who you trusted walked away…and they did not do so silently, they left making a lot of noise, saying things about you that simply were not true.  They called people and spoke lies/half truths about you.

Just before I was to speak, I sized up the audience to see if I needed to adapt any part of my message.  In the audience, I noticed a man sitting all alone wearing a jungle hat and dark sunglasses.  In some parts of Oklahoma that’s not that out of the ordinary, but we were indoors, so it seemed a little strange.  I just figured his bauble was a little off center and moved on scanning the audience.  After I spoke, to my surprise the man in dark sunglasses approached me, introduced himself, and shared how the message challenged him.  To protect his identity, I will refer to him as “Robert.”  As we talked, Robert slowly removed the sunglasses he was hiding behind and began to share his story.  I soon found out that “life” for Robert began to unravel in 2005.  After 32 years of marriage, Robert’s wife left him and his grown children, and severed all relationships with him.  What stood before me was a man broken and wounded by the consequences of his past sins.  Instead of facing his problems head on, like a lot of men, Robert moved into isolation.  Running from his pain, Robert moved several hundred miles away into isolation on 120 acres at the end of an old country dirt road.  My contact with him that day was his first human contact in over 30 days.

On my ride home I couldn’t help but wonder how many “Roberts” there are in the world.  I thought about my own isolation tendencies I often struggle with.   After all, it’s just as easy to live isolated in suburbia America as it is at the end of a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.  Since the time of Adam, men have struggled with living lives isolated from God and others, paralyzed by the consequences of past failures and sin.

Men – we must safeguard ourselves from living lives of isolation.  Proverbs 18:1 says, “One who isolates himself pursues [selfish] desire; he rebels against all sound judgment.”  If you see a little of “Robert” in yourself, purpose this day to:

• Remember your identity in Christ.  Although there are consequences to sin, we do not have to be defeated by the past Jesus died for.  “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.” (2 Cor. 5:17, HCSB)
• Remove barriers that keep you isolated from others.  Don’t cocoon or isolate yourself from your family and others.  If you are “in Christ,” then your place is needed in the body of Christ to accomplish the work of Christ.  You are the leader of your family. Leaders don’t run or hide!
• Restore relationships. Restoring fractured relationships takes time and prayer.  Be willing to wait on God to work in your relationships.  Focus on being a servant leader.  Look for opportunities to reengage with those around you.

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This article is written by Keith Burkhart. Keith is the Family & Men’s Ministry Specialist for the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma. He is a seasoned Men’s Ministry leader and oversees Rewired, a regional Men’s Ministry retreat featuring Tommy Bowden, Dr. Richard Land and Kenny Luck.

With the Game Plan for Life Live Event and Simulcast coming up next week, we recently had the opportunity to ask Joe Gibbs 5 questions.  Take a look at what he has to say….

Think about this…. Do you have a “Game Plan” for life?  If so, who is calling the shots – you, or God?

#1.  Two key men who have contributed to the Game Plan for Life Simulcast have also contributed chapters in your Game Plan for Life book – what led you to choose to involve Chuck Colson and Dr. Tony Evans?

“I think my goal was to have experts who have spent their lives studying what God has to say about these topics. I think just about everyone we talked to recommended Chuck Colson. We felt his life experiences and his scholarly approach to everything made him the perfect person to take the topic of salvation.  Then, our research group all recommended Tony Evans as the perfect person to write on the subject of purpose. A lot of his work is pointed toward helping men achieve a life of purpose.”

#2. The last video that Chuck Colson was able to produce was an introduction to the Game Plan for Life Simulcast – what does that mean to you?

 “Every time I was around Chuck I was amazed by his intellect. I found myself as the “average Joe” being blown away by his intellectual approach. I found myself saying if someone this smart believes there is a God who wants to have a personal relationship with me than certainly that encourages me in my decision process.”

#3. We have nearly 100 prisons participating in the Game Plan for Life Simulcast – how can churches help make this happen for more prisons?

 “Many churches have relationships with prisons and it would be great if they could encourage those Chaplains to participate in this simulcast – it would certainly enhance the number of people we could reach.”

#4.  We know you speak to various groups of men and host monthly Game Plan for Life breakfasts – what sparked your interest in taking your message to men in prisons?

“I think God has given me an unusual platform because most men are interested in football and motorsports. So, I’ve found there is a normal interest for most men in one of those two areas and certainly men in prison have exhibited that same interest and I think we have the perfect message because we serve a God of second chances.”

#5.  What do you hope to see happen through the Game Plan for Life Simulcast – what type of impact do you hope this event has on men in prisons, churches and small groups?

 “I think life is a team sport and God is our head coach. When you are on a team you are working to try and support your other team members. I try to do that with Game Plan for Life, Tony (Evans) does that with his ministry certainly, and I think this simulcast is another great opportunity. One of the most effective things we can do is to reach out to the communities and this is one way of doing that.  If we can reach out to people and then one person gets affected and makes a decision to make God their head coach and then they go out and get others involved then it can be tremendously impactful.”

We are so excited for this event and our partnership with Joe Gibbs and Prison Fellowship.  Please pray for this great opportunity to spread the message that Joe Gibbs and Dr. Tony Evans will give as it will reach not only individuals and churches, but those involved in prison ministry.

If you would like more information on how you and your church can participate in either the Live Event or Simulcast, please visit our websites ::  for the Live Event, please click HERE // for the Simulcast, please click HERE.

• Keep your fridge stocked with cheap goodies and a warm welcome. Consider what it would look like for you to be the home where people stop by and know they will be met with a juice box and friendly chatter.
• Ask for nearby help. If you are going out of town ask a neighbor to keep an eye on your house and pick up your mail. Invite them to dinner when you return to thank them and continue building the relationship.
• Have an HGTV moment. If you are considering a remodeling project ask yourself how it affects the people around you.
• Host a driveway (or balcony, alley, sidewalk) event. Tracey tells us about her friend that sent an email to the parents in the neighborhood and invited them down for ice cream one evening. She put a few gallons of ice cream and toppings in a cooler on the driveway and facilitated a great opportunity for the adults to sit and chat while the kids played in the yard.
• Stick close to home. Cut down on the time you spend in the car and increase your time in the community by using the library, doctor’s office, dentist, dry cleaners, and coffee shop that are closest to home.

How many of these do you already do? What are some other ideas that you could do in your neighborhood? Start moving towards intentional living one step at a time. Number these ideas in the order that you could apply them to your life and then get started!

Here’s a list of some of those things:

• She birthed me (obvious but still worth noting)
• Stayed home with my brother and me while we were very young although she previously had a career in social work.
• She forgave me for breaking our above ground pool when I was six and fished me out of the bushes when the resulting tidal wave swept me away.
• Drove me to weekly piano and soccer practices
• Loved me through middle school
• Kept my dad calm(ish) when I broke curfew in high school
• Helped me move into my college dorm (although I won’t mention how she and my dad left my dorm and immediately bought a new car)
• Helped me move from California to Texas for graduate school
• Supported my decision to move home a few months later when school didn’t work out
• Encouraged me to move to Nashville, which is farther away than Texas, even though I was unsure of myself and previous decision making abilities

But one of my favorite things about my mom is how she taught me that family is what you make it. We lived in Southern California, hours and states away from blood relatives, but our house was always full of people on holidays. I can recall many times that friends of my brother and mine came to live with us for a few days or weeks because of family issues. I shared my high school graduation party with a friend my mom didn’t even know because she found out his family wasn’t doing anything to celebrate. She loved when I brought friends home from college (I mean like 6 or 7 friends at a time) even when all they did was eat and sleep on the floor for the entire weekend.

My mom, like many moms out there, has an ability to create home wherever she is, whether it is in her second grade classroom or the hotel we inhabit for the week. She makes family out of whoever is close by. I love sharing my mom with my friends and look forward to sharing her with a family of my own someday.

So in honor of your mother, make a list of what she has done for you. It might make you laugh and it might make you cringe (that pool incident was far more terrifying than it sounds), but it will definitely bless you to think of the ways your mom has been, and still is, one of the greatest blessings of your life.

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This post was written by Carrie Griffin, the Department Assistant for LifeWay Men and LifeWay Marriage and Family.

 Mothers and sons sometimes speak different languages.Here are a few tips on how to build and strengthen that mother/son relationship.

2 – Honoring Your Mother :: In honor of Mother’s Day coming up this Sunday…I thought it would be appropriate to share this devotional (which includes a great video) from the Skit Guys!  ENJOY!

Have you ever stood in line behind a mother and her children at the grocery store? Or volunteered in the nursery for a couple hours? There’s no better reminder of the amount of physical effort it takes just to keep the little ones alive for the first few years. And as kids grow, that hurdle is replaced by the more complicated issues and moms only wish they could make it all better with a Barbie, band-aid, and a kiss.

3. .MOM :: Check out this event, produced by our LifeWay Women’s team!  This is a great event for Moms!

Have you ever thought, I wonder if other moms feel …? However you finish that sentence, the answer is yes. The journey of motherhood is exciting, scary, lovely, and challenging. Which is why we’ve created .MOM—a weekend that will encourage and refresh you, connect you with other moms, celebrate motherhood, and draw you closer to Christ.

]]> http://www.powerofthehome.net/weekend-reading/take-a-look-motherson-honoring-your-mother-dotmom/feed/ 0 http://www.powerofthehome.net/family/gods-blessings-overflow/ http://www.powerofthehome.net/family/gods-blessings-overflow/#comments Thu, 10 May 2012 14:00:02 +0000 kwinters http://www.powerofthehome.net/?p=2443 If you haven’t been keeping up, read the first two parts of our adoption story here and here!

If you have been keeping up, good for you! I knew I liked you.

After our amazing experience adopting Reed from Taiwan, we quickly climbed aboard the adoption wagon again. This time we wanted a daughter. We loved Taiwan, so we stuck with our same agency.

After about a year and a half of slowly getting things together, we were ready to officially be on our agency’s waitlist. About this same time, our agency lost their ability to facilitate adoptions in Taiwan. We were so bummed.

We began to do research about other agencies from which we could adopt. We found one that was run by a group of Christians in Taiwan and were very hopeful that this would work, but they denied us. Then a good cyber-friend, Sarah, told me about another agency with a  brand-new Taiwan program. I called and although they were excited about the program, they already had a long waitlist. This was March. They told me to call back in the fall.

Through God’s providence, I had left them my information and they called me about a month later asking if we were still interested. We quickly agreed and signed on with the agency. We did their required paperwork and were moving further into our plans for adoption.

On Abbey’s thirtieth birthday, April 29, 2010, I kissed Abbey as I left for work and she told me she would really like a referral for her birthday. After arriving at work, I decided to email our homestudy to the agency. About 1.5 hours later I received a call from our agency that went something like this:

Social Worker: “Jeff, I received your homestudy. It looks like you all are great candidates for adoption.”

Me: “Yes?”

Social Worker: “You know that we do not allow you to specify gender preference.”

Me: “Yes, we realize that.” 

Social Worker: “You don’t list any preferences for a sibling set.”

Me: “We’ve never really thought about it. I guess we would be open, but we would want Reed to be our oldest.”

Social Worker: “Well, Jeff, the reason why I am asking is that we have a two year old little boy who needs a family and he also had a baby brother born this morning.”

Me:  (speechless)

Social Worker: “Are you still there? Do you think this might be a match for your family?”

I quickly explained to our social worker that I indeed felt that it would be a match, but I would need to talk to my wife first. In my heart, I knew immediately these weren’t just any boys, they were my sons.

I called Abbey and the conversation went like this:

Me: “Abbey, remember what you asked me for you birthday? I think you might get it.”

Abbey: “What did I ask you for?”

Me: “You know what you asked me for this morning before I left?”

Abbey: “I don’t get it, do you mean a referral.”

Me: “Yes, I sent them our homestudy and they called me already. He is a two year old little boy.”

Abbey: “Really”

Me: “And he has a brother that was born this morning!”

Abbey: “TWO?!?”

Abbey also knew immediately that we were these boys parents. Nash and Will first entered our arms on September 11, 2010 (3 years and 1 day after the first time we held Reed!). Nash and Reed are best brothers. They are very different and yet completely and totally inseparable. Will is amazing and happy and into everything!  Going from one to three wasn’t easy, but the story didn’t end there.

While in Taiwan, we made contact with a missionary who facilitated adoptions. On the Sunday morning after Will’s first birthday, she emailed us to tell us a birth mother wanted us to adopt her baby girl. Confused, scared, and overjoyed, we immediately knew this was God’s baby for our family.

One week later, we found out that SHE was HE and we were going to be having another SON! Tuck was born on October 27, 2011 and entered our arms on March 16, 2012. We’ve been home almost two months and Tuck is easygoing and our lives are better for him. We are so thankful that God has blessed us with four beautiful, handsome, amazing sons!

Here Are Some Adoption Truths About Expenses:

1. International and Domestic Adoption can be expensive (VERY EXPENSIVE)! If you look at the expense of adoption it can be overwhelming. I promise you that there is no feasible reason why we have been able to adopt four boys from Taiwan.

2. God is in every detail. God has provided for each one of our adoptions. That doesn’t mean we have done it completely debt free, but we have been willing to work to do what we know that God is calling us to do. With each adoption, we have had a small loan, and within one year of each, the loans have been paid in full.

3. Not everyone qualifies for grants.  Many people ask us why we don’t apply for grants. We did. We have. BUT, we have never been approved. We’re not sure why, but don’t just assume that you will get a grant.

4. There is government help. The adoption tax credit is an amazing gift of the US government which helps families who are adopting.

5. Constant fundraising can be annoying! First of all, I’ve got to admit this is a bit of a soapbox. It drives me crazy to hear people say “We can’t afford to adopt” while they are driving a Lexus or posting about the need for $500 towards an adoption expense from one’s iPad 3. If God is calling you to adopt, He is also calling you to sacrifice. This sacrifice might not only be that of time, but is almost about finances, faith, and trust. Abbey and I absolutely did some fundraising, but it was very important that we acted with utmost stewardship while we were completing our adoptions and as we parent our boys. God might be asking you to stretch yourself further than you think.

About my boys:

Drake Reed Kai Land – Reed is five and is a super athlete and is basically a genius! Drake is Abbey’s maiden name and Reed is my middle name. Kai was Reed’s birth name, but we have given the name to each of our son’s in what we call their “brother” name.

Nash Fisher Kai Land – Nash is our happy, humorous, dimples-that-melt-your-heart little boy. He is four. Nash was named for our home Nashville and Fisher, which is Abbey’s Dad’s Middle name.

William Arthur Kai Land – Will is into everything. He gives the greatest hugs and blows kisses to everyone. He is definitely an extrovert even at age 2. Will is named after my best friend, Bill and after my father Art.

Jackson Tucker Kai Land – Abbey and I met in college in Jackson, MS. Truth is, Tuck’s name was kind of hard for us to figure out. Reed, Nash, Will, and Tuck each have four-letter, one syllable names that don’t share any like letters. Okay, you go ahead and try to figure out our other options! Tuck is absolutely amazing! He is laid-back and easy going.

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Jeff Land is husband of Abbey and father of four amazing sons. He is Preteen Team Leader at Lifeway Church Resources and is an active member of First Baptist Church in Joelton, TN.

I tried to share with my brother that, on his own, there is no hope for him to turn his life around and become a good man, leader, and father.  As humans, we are completely incapable of transforming ourselves – only Christ can transform.  If my brother genuinely wishes to turn his life around, lead a family well, and be a good father, then first he must have the right foundation – a heart that has been changed by the power of the gospel of Christ.

In Ephesians, Paul demonstrates the importance of a gospel foundation.  Chapters 1–3 are basically an exposition of the truth of the gospel.  Then, in Ephesians 4–6, Paul urges Christians to “walk worthy of the calling [they] have received.”  These latter chapters are basically a manual for gospel living.  He states that husbands ought to “love [their] wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her” (5:25).  Also, fathers should not “stir up anger in [their] children,” but they should “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (6:4).  The key here, though, is that the gospel comes first!  If we seek to build our lives, lead our families, or parent our children on any other foundation, it will eventually crumble.

The gospel must be the starting point, but being changed by the gospel is not a magic condition that will suddenly and instantly fix all our life and family problems.  Rather, transformation is a process.  We must continually, day by day, seek to be transformed by the power of the gospel (Rom. 12:1-2).

Even Christians are often prone to replace or subvert the gospel foundation in our lives.  Are you building your life, marriage, and family on a gospel foundation, or are you using other, lesser building blocks?

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Henry Dutton is a M.Div. student at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina.  He also serves as a Camp Director with CentriKid Camps.  Henry recently got engaged, and he hopes to lead and build his future family on a gospel foundation.

“God calls us individually and as families to use our lives as a platform for ministry. As families on mission, He calls us to the unique mission field of our teenagers’ lives. Teaching teenagers to live radically is more about simple obedience than about being superficially outrageous. Simple examples of how families are raising radical teenagers may not seem that impressive at first glace. For example…

• In family prayer time at meals, pray for one unreached people group from the website joshuaproject.net.
• Give your older teenagers opportunities to tutor younger students.
• Adopt the mission field made up of families from you students’ ball teams, bands, dance teams, and so forth
• Be the home where all your kids’ friends spend the night on weekends.

Raising radicals means that we help our kids see every tangible act of kindness to others as an opportunity for deeper relationships. Those deeper relationships create opportunities for genuine friendships, which lead to opportunities for gospel influence.”

If we are going to raise a radical generation we must be the sparks to the flame. So often we make excuses about incorporating these kinds of ideas into our parenting. If you find yourself making excuses be honest and write them down. As you look at them ask yourself if those reasons outweigh the spiritual influence you could be having on your son or daughter.

This dream rarely becomes a reality because there is no compelling vision for men articulated or visible. Or there is no meaningful process that both transforms the man and also trains him to lead in the church context.

No end game. No goals. No pathway. No larger vision for him.

On the flip side, if there is a strong vision, a defined process to realize the vision, and outcomes that make men stakeholders in the ongoing success of the church’s mission — men long for that kind of significance!

Vision. Meaning. Clear process. Influence.

A simple strategic process, what we call the spiritual pathway contains four critical ingredients which are central to wide participation and success with men. Your men’s pathway must call men in the congregation and in the community to:

1. “GET IN”

When a man commits to pursuing and deepening his male friendships in a safe group context, he will sustain momentum to grow spiritually and achieve personal changes faster than he ever could on his own.

2. “GET HEALTHY”

Men need to go after core health in their own character and relationships. Through open discussion where men share who they are and what is really happening in their lives. If the most real and relevant issues remain unaddressed and untouched, the rest of what a man may learn or accomplish through his connection with other men will be short-lived in both his life and church contexts.

3. “GET STRONG”

The natural progression from personal transformation in a man’s life is active leadership training. Practically, men will feel themselves going to the next level of commitment personally, spiritually, and practically in ministry. Strong spiritual formation leads to strong spiritual expression of the Great Commandment and Great Commission.

4. “GET GOING”

Healthy, strong, trained men are deployed to serve the church and their mission in the world to aggressively share the Gospel.

A church that empowers transformation of men helps itself by winning the loyalty, energy, and expression of its men toward the larger needs, mission, and vision of the church. The Bible requires of a man core health and strong leadership, as described in the first two stages of the pathway, prior to selection for church leadership.

This spiritual pathway must be supported at each step with the right connective funnels, the right tools and resources, and the right relationships to be successful. When implemented in conjunction with these other elements, a solid leadership engine can be built in any church that will accelerate the mission and vision for the senior or lead pastor.

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The Sleeping Giant model shown here was developed by Kenny Luck and introduced in Sleeping Giant: No Move of God without Men of God(Broadman & Holman, 2012). Learn more about Kenny and the spiritual path for men by visiting www.everymanministries.com. Used with permission from Kenny Luck.